To Trim Perceptions

The choir was chanting an unfamiliar song, to which I wasn't paying much attention, as always, when I finished my prayer.  I opened my eyes, and right then I caught a glimpse of something wonderful - the priest, one of the most saintly and ethereal priest I know, lit up at the sight of a tiny person.  He smiled like any common man would, looking adoringly at such innocence, and gently shaking the boy's thin, marshmallow arms. Then he carried on to bless the children, and I sit back on the bench.  The brief, beautiful moment filled me with a feeling that haven't visited my for years.  More of a memory, it was related to content, kindness, holiness, and a simpler attitude towards life.  My mother used to say to me, quite often it seemed, as I had a very young brain and fresh memory at the time, that "children are God's favorite."  "Why?" I would ask, I would always ask.  "Because children are innocent and unstained."  And I would feel so

為甚麼人要活著呢？我願意以純粹思想的形式漂浮在宇宙中，理性而不受驚擾地存在。 血液運行在血管中，從心臟爬上大腦。究竟從哪裡開始，是我？又有多少只是化學？ 我們是會被情緒綁架的人。 被綑縛著，手銬、腳鐐、與口罩。在睡夢中感到無助，只能揉搓時間的沙土；遙遙觀望人與人群的嘻笑聚散，萬物禁聲打轉。或許我們不是缺少了甚麼，如處方箋所暗示；只是我們的內在另有一面大鐘，運行之間溢出或多或少的代謝汁液，暈染大腦皮質，隱喻鐘面後的世界。 被夾在兩個世界之間，沒有一套規律可以通行。我不得不去尋找語言來描述、去解釋這些斷裂與矛盾，回答那些「正常人」不以為意的問題。 我需要文字，來分析與理解事物。而當我試著描述這個朦朧又私密的世界、當我試著尋找甚至建立規則時，卻發覺必需的語言尚未被創造──邃只能停頓，繼續徘徊於混沌之中，載浮載沉。 或許人只會被不了解的事物所箝制。或許把一切神祕攤平曬乾以後，我們就自由了。